He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
