I need help removing her.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
