So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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