this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
