I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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