He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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