I got chris browned last night
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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