Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
