I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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