Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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