Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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