Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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