I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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