I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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