Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Randomize
