I feel great
I just peed on a car
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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