There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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