I didn't shave. On purpose
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
ttyl tear gas
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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