Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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