I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
