I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You left your underwear on the fireplace
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
