I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had to cum in my sink.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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