Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
