whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
