she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
