girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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