Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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