I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
