new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
