the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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