dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
