I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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