i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
