we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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