just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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