I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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