She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
