Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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