i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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