those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
do nipples grow back?
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