My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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