she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
