he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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