Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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