1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
