Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize