Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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