do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize