the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
