I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
