he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
