the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
