found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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