Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
