She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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