She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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