And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
