That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
