Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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