pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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