i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
