I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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