They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
