Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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