dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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